Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Psalms 16. 5-8

Today was a very rough day. As it concerns the issue of money I don't want to get into it really. I was actually going to blog earlier this evening, and already I had a title in mind... "A rare bit of pessimism". Well, I've had my share of tears this afternoon/evening, and I'd rather be done with that. I'm glad I waited to write.

Instead I'll write about what just happened to me. I wrote in my journal all about today and what happened, all the stressors I'm currently experiencing. For a while there, I was truly doubting my getting through this. I was about to call an old friend, one who would understand exactly what I'm going through right now, but right then Sam called. Just hearing his voice made me feel better. Later, when I got all worked up again, my sister and Sam calmed me down, and reassured me that one way or the other, everything will be okay. Well as I was writing in my journal, I flipped open to an earlier entry, and so it reads:

"April 16, 2007

'You, Lord, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands. How wonderful are your gifts to me; how good they are! I praise the Lord, because he guides me, and in the night my conscience warns me.
I am always aware of the presence of the Lord; he is near, and nothing can shake me.'

Psalms 16.5-8"

Amen to that is all I can say.

I want...

to look pretty today.


Sunday, October 28, 2007


I spend the weekend at home. It was so nice. I always come back feeling recharged after I see my family, see my Samy. I see why I work so hard in school and at work. I see why this hectic life is worth is, namely working 12-hour shifts and then turning around to go to class a couple of hours later. It is sooo worth it when it gives me a paycheck that puts gas in my car so that I can go home again.

Yesterday was my adorable nephew's birthday... happy first birthday Trace!! His party was today. Little family gatherings that we have like this, or big ones like my family reunion, help me realize how happy I am with Sam. He accompanied my family and I today to Trace's party, and I can only say that I just love how he helps out with things. I don't have to ask him to help my dad or my brother, or anyone for that matter. If he sees that decorations need to be taken down, he'll start on them or should tables need to be cleaned, he grabs a washrag and starts cleaning. I love that this morning he was at my house bright and early to help get things together, and after he helped me do dishes and I went to go get ready, he helped my mom with a project she was working on for Trace. It was so cool to walk into the living room and see him holding a piece of wood for her while she put glue on it. I love him so much.

I love that my mom is such an AMAZING woman. I want to be like her one day. I don't know how she is always so giving of herself and is so eager to make us feel special. I love my mother. She is a great mom and grandma. My grandma would be proud of her. I can't wait until one day she does special things for my children... until I walk into the house one day and hear her say, "Dejalos, mija, " meaning "Leave them, I'll take care of it," and tell me to relax, taking the children from my arms so that I can rest a while. I admire my mother. She is my hero.

On another note, I recently checked out Jane Erye from the library. I've been wanting to read it for the longest time. Maybe I'll have a chance soon, though the upcoming weeks in my planner are marked with different colors, indicating meetings, quizzes, exams, projects, and papers due. Looks like I'll be exhaustably busy until the third week of November.

What is exciting, though, is that once I make it through Thanksgiving break, I'll have about 2 weeks to finish this semester. Then one more to go... and that... that is awesome :o)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


So today/night I took care of a patient who made me realize how very blessed I am. She is a very young teenager who just got into a rollover accident. She is currently semi-paralyzed but is gaining mobility every day. About a week ago, a pediatric neurosurgeon placed a metal rod in her back that will be there for the rest of her life. Her attitude was amazing and her will power commanded the upmost respect.

It was an awesome feeling to bond with her in the short time that we spent together. At first, I could tell that she had her doubts about me, I can only assume it was because I am so young. But as time progressed, she began to trust me, and toward the end of my shift she was asking me if I could be her nurse tomorrow. It was quite flattering.

I love what I do. She wasn't eating too well at all. She would only drink protein shakes. I talked with her and convinced her to eat a little for lunch, and for dinner, she had a full meal. Making little differences like that make me feel like I'm doing something useful with my time. I love love love to help people.

While I feel extremely tired right now, I'm trying to imagine how she felt going through rehab today and the 2hour long process of taking a shower and getting ready for bed, and it makes my minor aches and tiresome attitude seem miniscule. I will work on my concept map tonight... I will be productive.

Thank you God, for the gift of good health.

Monday, October 22, 2007

A tribute to great friends

I have a friend. Well, more than one, but only a few very close and great friends... friends who know the real me. This is for one great friend in particular. This blog is to him and all my close friends.

Thank you, for hanging out with me. For allowing me to feel comfortable around you, for letting me tell you things that I couldn't tell just any friend. There's a level of trust a person has to establish with others before he lets himself be known to others. Although we don't see each other often, at all in fact, when we do hang out, I know that I can tell you stuff without any need to worry that you'll betray my trust. I can tell you things that I fear to tell others for fear of what they would think of me, because I know you won't judge me. Instead you offer advice and help me out. Sometimes, its advice I don't quite expect or want to hear, but you tell me anyway. I like that :o)

I think you are really really cool, and I just want to say thanks so much for being my friend and for valuing the friendship we have.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

I know, I know...

I'm a pic-a-holic! But still... pics from this weekend... I'm home!!

Ahha! Samy was acting like my glasses made him cross-eyed :o)

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Our plate

I got our plate back yesterday! It's sooo pretty! I reckon Samy and I make a pretty great team after all ;0) I'm so happy- this was one of the best dates ever!

Monday, October 15, 2007


Do you ever catch yourself wondering how much life changes? Yes, I am talking to you.

At one moment you are as hopeful and blissful as life allows, and then things turn to shit. I am not speaking of my life as it currently stands, because I couldn't be happier :o) Earlier, though, I was looking at an old post I had on facebook, and I was reminded of where I was a year ago today. I wrote a note because I was depressed... I didn't quite know what it was that was making me feel that way when I'd once been so happy and it was all lost. I couldn't figure out why I was so sad- well, actually I knew then, but I couldn't figure out why things changed.

Now, I see that God had a bigger plan for me. Even when I doubted Him with all the "why?"s and "how will I go on?"s, He knew. My God is such an awesome and loving God. He knows me better than I do myself- and He knew, when I didn't, what I need. He knew what would make me happy, but more than happy, He knew what would give me joy. He answered my prayers and gave me so much more than I could ever have hoped for. I am happier than I have ever been in my life... truly and completely happy. My soul is at peace and I wish for nothing but love and happiness for all those who have been a part of my life, meaning you. I hope all of you are at peace wherever you are, and if you find that peace has not yet found you, keep praying... keep your head up, keep picking up the pieces, and find encouragement in God, for in Him is the peace that everyone spends their lives searching.

Saturday, October 13, 2007


Last night and today were especially important to me. Several events took place which made me realize just how blessed I am to have my sweet Sam. I have come to believe, with great care and undoubtable evidence that he loves me. He truly, truly loves me... for me. He takes me as I am and judges me not. He motivates me to work harder, listens to me complain, holds my hand, soothes me when I feel sick. He sends me sweet text messages just because, gives me flowers, stares into my eyes until we're interupted and longer, holds me so safe in his arms. He assures me that no matter what happens in life with school, family, work, money, stress... he will be here for me, as I will for him, that there's little in this world he wouldn't do for me. He is honest with me no matter what the circumstance and makes it easy to talk to him about anything and everything- and we do. He lets me know each and every second that we are together or on the phone that he loves me unconditionally- in the touch of his hand on mine, in the intensity of his eyes when they meet mine, in the sweet and caring sound of his voice.

He is my Sam, and I love him. I love him for having been my best friend for four years now, for having always been by my side, for having forgiven me for wrongdoings, for understanding me when it feels like almost no one else does. I love him for having listened to me cry through all of the roughest parts of my life, when I felt like my heart was broken and I could never love anyone ever again, when I hurt others and felt like the worst person on earth. I love him for loving me enough to give me time and space when I needed it, for standing on the sidelines and being the best friend I needed. I love him because he loves my family, because he is so willing to learn about what and why I believe what I believe, because he tries...

I love him because his happiness is my happiness and my happiness is his.

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Friday, October 12, 2007

Appreciable exhaustion

Wow, this week has been incredibly hectic:

M: med-surgII exam
T: research exam, work 7p-7a
W: sleep til 12, clinical 2-10p
Th: meetings starting at 10a, class til 430, meeting til 5, dinner, nap, work 11p-7a
F: sleep til 12, clinical 2-10p

and here I am... :sigh: a very stressful yet productive week.

All in all, I feel pretty dang good. Exhausted but good. I want to fall on my bed and sleep til the Tech vs. A&M game tomorrow, but I have the urge to clean my room. It's pretty messy, and I haven't cleaned it well in- well, I can't remember. I've been working/clinicaling/studying/testing too much. I shall clean.

Tech is gonna kick ass tomorrow!

Monday, October 8, 2007

I.V. League update

Tonight we were dominated. 28-6

No es bueno.

Playoffs next week... umm, I'm not quite sure that'll turn out.

A pic of the team -note: these are NOT our happy faces after total domination :(

Blogging is my form of procrastination

:sigh: I should sooo be studying right now.

That aside, this weekend was everything I needed it to be. Samy came and we had a really great day Saturday. We went to this really cool arts and crafts place and painted pottery. It was so cool :o) We always have have so much fun together.

We also saw Mr. Woodcock. It was pretty funny. I liked it at least. One of those goofy, take nothing from it kind of movies. Oh well, we had fun. We also went to a park/veterans memorial and read from our novel. It is getting really really good!

I want to write more, but I will be a good student and study a little more before my first medsurg II exam @ 5. AHHhhhh! Before I leave though, here are pics from this weekend.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Football and sandals

Had another football game tonight- but I played like crap. Oh well, it was fun. Just a game right? I'm on two teams now :) so that's pretty exciting. One for nursing (we're the I.V. League... cute huh?) and the other just a bunch of friends. I find that while I'm not a great football player, I'm getting better and better! My throwing has improved tremendously, especially when I'm on my all girls team (less rushing= less pressure). Hopefully I'll be playing QB on both teams occassionally, so that'll be fun. I've realized lately how excited I am about sports. I ABSOLUTELY love to play sports!!!! I will probably be playing slowpitch softball when I'm fifty. Seriously.

I'm excited... (maybe I say that too much- but I truly am a very happy person)... that Samy's coming tommorrow!! I could really use a hug right now, butI need a shower so badly. I smell like dirt and sweat :-/

I need to start studying for my first Med-Surg II exam. It is going to be so friggin' hard. Tonight, after Sam reads to me, I'm going to the lobby or library to study. I have to. Six weeks of info crammed into one exam. CRAP!! Luckily, my advanced pharmacology exam and concept map are moved to next next week. :sigh: That will make life so much better. Only med-surg and nursing research exams next week.

Random, but I think I want to buy myself something that I recently found, these super-duper cool sandals. However, because I recently got two tickets, one for speeding and the other for stupidly running a red light (ha!), I am having to practice delayed self-gratification. It'll be worth it I think ;)

Anyway, I need to shower...