Thursday, June 23, 2011

Thoughts before bed

Excited. Exhausted. Inspired. Not so sleepy. Grateful. Accomplished. Content. Motivated.

The little boy inside of me is doing flips as I write this post. My tummy looks like it's doing the wave :) I can't wait to meet him. To have such a little baby who is so dependent on us. To be unable to hold his head up or see more than a few inches from his face. To see the difference in our little girl and our little boy. Will he be as rambunctious and inquisitive as her?

I know we'll be very busy as our family grows from 3 to 4, but honestly, I'm not really stressed about it. This baby will be demanding in his own newborn way: the nursing every 3hrs, frequent diaper changes, and the figuring out his needs and personality. Ella will be demanding in the way a toddler can be: the having to watch her constantly to make sure she's not getting into something she's not supposed to, the frequent testing of boundaries, and the cute, but sometimes aggravating assertion of independence.

However, baby boy will stay put when I lay him down. I won't have to worry about him crawling out of his bassinet or climbing the stairs. Ella, on the other hand, despite being only 15 months old, already understands most of what we tell her. While she doesn't always listen, she does most of the time. And it's easy to know what's wrong with her when she cries. So in their own ways, they'll need special attention and love.

I'm just so grateful for my life. I'm most thankful for Sam, who is the most amazing husband. For the ability to have children. That Ella is healthy, intelligent, and beautiful. That we have a son on the way who, I hope, will be just like his dad one day. That God willing, Sam will be on days soon. That we are so abundantly blessed!

I feel ready.

As difficult as my days have been lately, with trying to take care of Ella and keep up the house and be a good wife to my husband, and feeling so completely exhausted at the end of the day with an ever growing belly, I can only say that I couldn't be more content. My roles of wife and mother are so full of meaning to me that no matter what kind of day I have, at the end of it, I can only say thank you to God.

Tomorrow I want to:
Cook breakfast for my love.
Play with Ella.
Make sure we are packed for our trip to San Antonio.
Leave town by 10 am.

My last thought before bed: Love is a verb.

Sleep calls.