Last night was not so great a night. I got into a stupid stupid tiff with my husband and it's somewhat carried over into today.
One thing I thing I can't stop thinking about is my role as a wife, what God calls me to do. I believe I am first and foremost obedient to God. I am commanded to follow God's law and obey him before any other. Next I am submissive to my husband. I am called to honor him as head of our family and respect him as leader... so long as the submissiveness to my husband does not confict with the superior obedience to my Lord.
Well last night was one of those conficts. However small it may have seemed to Sam or the couple we were with, what I was asked to do (no matter what it was) was something I know God would not have approved of. Furthermore, this one particular thing is a very big pet peeve. I can't stand it when other people do it and I certainly wasn't about to.
I've never been one to cave to peer pressure, and I wasn't about to last night. I was standing there alone and didn't so much care.
What upset me, however, was that Sam got mad at me because I didn't listen to him. I tried explaining myself but it didn't seem to matter. He got very very frustrated with me and then got mad. He said something that hurt my feelings tremendously and I started crying. Well I've been crying off and on since last night. Only an hour ago have I felt like I've finally got a grip on my emotions.
I guess I just want to hear an "I'm sorry." Not to sound all righteous, but I really don't think I was in the wrong. Had Jesus been physically present last night, I would have especially stuck to my resolve.
While making a confession, I had a priest once tell me that I have a very sensitive conscience. I agree whole heartedly. I know I don't always do what is right, but when I feel compelled (I think by the Holy Spirit) to do what is right in God's eyes, it doesn't matter who you are- I'll do what I think is right.
I prayed for a spirit of humility and forgiveness today at mass. And so with that, I'll leave this matter to a little piece of virtual space on my blog and not bring it up again.