Friday, May 28, 2010

Oh, the irony!

Last night was Ella's first time to sleep through the night. But I woke up at least 5 times because I kept dreaming I was late for work. Go figure.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Good music

I like that music affects me. I guess I've always been that way. Right now I'm listening to some good Carbon Leaf. I think Pandora is such a great idea. It's cool how they find new music for you in whatever genre you're into. Nifty.
I decided not to go back to sleep after Ella got up to eat at 4. I'm gonna stay up til Sam gets home so that I'll be able to go to sleep when he does. I don't like that we're on different sleep schedules :(
I just finished reading Who You Are When No One"s Looking. Good book. I like that the author really incorporates scripture, even to business principles. It's my kind of book, because I've always been really about integrity. I know I have a long way to go, but integrity is the number one character trait I try to work on. I have so much respect for people who show integrity- I guess because they are who they are even when no ones looking. They don't change. They're real and that's pretty cool.
I'm excited. A group of friends are supposed to be starting a softball team next month. I miss playing so much. I miss playing catch, just throwing the ball around. I miss fielding, catching grounders, the smell of caliche in the summer.
I know this is way random, but I was talking to Sam about recently. I don't ever want to become stagnant. I don't want to stop learning, stop pushing myself. I want to keep building my character and my intellect. I want to keep learning about all kinds of things. Study whatever interests me and push myself to learn about things I haven't ever really been interested in- like physics :( It's kind of funny because I've always thought people who read "self-help" books are weird, but how else can I expect mind to be opened to new ways of thinking if I don't allow them in?
So I just decided that I really like Carbon Leaf and I just found a new band similar to them- Sister Hazel- on Pandora. Really cool :) I love good music.
I can hear Ella sighing in her sleep on the baby monitor... my sweet girl :) I absolutely love being a mom.
I guess I should conclude this post. I need to get some stuff done. Have a great day everyone!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Late night thoughts

Do you ever feel like you are disconnected from everyone, like no one can relate, like there's no one to talk to? That's pretty much how I feel right now. I'm tired. Ella was fussy all day, poor baby had a diaper rash and was hurting. She wore me out, trying to keep her entertained and comfortable. I'm glad I went over to my parents. My mom always lets me rest. Its like going on a little retreat for a few hours. Yes, a much needed retreat where I leave feeling a bit rejuvenated. I should be trying to go to sleep right now, but I guess I'm just thinking too much for that. Today was a bit of an awkward and lonely day. Sam didn't sleep at all yesterday except maybe 2 hours, so when he got home this morning he crashed til mid-afternoon. It was pretty much just me and Ella Bell and like I said earlier, she wore me out. I think the nicest part of all day was sitting outside with her in the cool breeze. I sang to her and she cooed at the songs she liked :) She likes to look at trees. I hope she's an outdoorsy kinda girl. Can't wait to take her camping. I feel like talking to someone rather than writing this entry, but it's late and there's no one I want to bother or wake up. I feel lonely and a little sad. I guess because Ella's asleep and the house is so quiet. Since there's not much else to do, I guess I'll go lay in bed and see if sleep becomes me.
Sorry for the depressing post. Maybe I'll be more upbeat tomorrow. Goodnight all.

Monday, May 10, 2010

I feel like

today is Mother's Day :) I'm getting spoiled <3