Today was a lovely day. Sam and I spent time with our little babies, as we've been doing everyday. It's a lovely kind of lovely to not have work to go to or have anywhere pressing you need to be. To be able to take a nap anytime you feel like it. To play outside a couple of times a day and just soak up the sun.
Here are little pieces of today.
I realize there are no pics of baby boy. I'll make tomorrow's post his :)
I'm currently listening to "Free to Be Me" by Francesa Battistelli. She's a young Christian singer who has some pretty cool songs.
Just got home from church and cleaned the house a little with Sam. Ella and Samy Baby are sleeping. Gotta take advantage of their nap times whenever I can.
So as I sit in front of my compute and listen to uplifting Christian music, I reflect on my morning. I was very frustrated with myself earlier.
Sam and I usually go to Mass at our home church at 11 am. We love the priest there; Fr. Santiago is so reverent and gives amazing homilies packed with Scripture and a good joke or two. The only problem is that there is no nursery there and there isn't even a cry room. Combine the lack of child-friendly areas with the fact that Ella's nap time is around 12, while we're still in church, and you get a fussy toddler who does not want to sit still, regardless of snacks or quiet distractions such as books, etc. I say this not implying at all that our priest is perturbed by little kids in church; he's actually very family oriented and encourages us to bring her, despite her interruptions to his homilies. Ella is a wonderful little girl. She is well mannered (she already signs please and thank you), very sweet (always giving kisses and hugs), and well tempered. However, she is a toddler, and when she is tired the crankiness comes spilling out.
Well because of this, Sam and I have decided to have someone babysit her while we are at church if we go to this church, or go to another Catholic church at 11:30 where a nursery is provided and there is a cry room. The plan was for the latter this morning. We both woke up around 8:30, with plenty of time to get ready. Somehow though, no matter what time we wake up or start getting ready for church, we are always late. Not late by much, never more than 10 minutes, but late nevertheless. And I know I've written before about how much it peeves me to be late for anything, it absolutely drives me crazy to be late for church! I just can't stand rushing to get everyone loaded in the car, speeding to church, walking in late, missing part of the Mass, and then after finally sitting down, having to unruffle my feathers to open myself up to the Scripture readings. And let me add, that it usually takes a long time to do this. Being frustrated with myself in church certainly does not make me feel like I'm in a state of Grace to receive Holy Communion either. :sigh:
Well, all of that happened this morning :( Put all of that last paragraph together with the fact that I started getting the babies ready way early, ironed Sam's clothes and my dress while he did his workout for the day, and when I finally had to start getting myself ready, I asked Sam what time it was... it was 11:10- the time we should be out the door to have enough time to take Ella to the nursery. So the dress I'd gotten ready didn't work out as planned and I had to make a last minute outfit change. I ended up going to church looking horrible- didn't wear anything pretty, my hair was a frizzy mess and I didn't even bother to put make up on on the way there because I cried the whole way because I was so frustrated with everything. Uggh. Not a good way to got to church.
Or maybe it is. While in Mass, I didn't sing like I always do or say almost any of the participatory responses because I felt like if I said anything or let my emotions open up anymore, I'd be a free flowing river of tears. Instead, I spoke to my God from within and felt Him calm me down, telling me not to worry about such small things. I'm not a woman to compare myself to others, ever, but standing behind the glass of the cry room (we didn't have time to take Ella to the nursery), I couldn't help see my mess-of-a-self reflection next to the two beautiful women standing in the row in front of us, both wearing super cute outfits with perfect makeup and perfect hair. :sigh: I wanted to cry more.
But instead, I felt my God tell me that it's not about what I'm wearing or how my crazy hair is. What matters is that my family showed up to spend time with Him. Worship Him. Give glory to Him. And I even felt Him tell my troubled and beyond frustrated and sad heart that it mattered more to Him that I tried to look nice for Him (I was going to wear a pretty dress and curl my hair, but alas, had no time to get me ready). That regardless of how sad looking, and by that I mean pathetic looking, I showed up to church, He knew that I desired to look pretty for Him.
I know that this all may sound dorky and trivial, but it's not to me.
I honestly believe that Christ becomes present in the Eucharist. And how little is to spend one hour a week with Jesus in worship? :sigh: Not much. So it's important to me to at least show up on time and make an earnest effort to wear my "Sunday best". If I can be on time everywhere else and dress up for a job interview or date with my husband, then what reason do I have or lack of desire, for that matter, to dress up for a date with God?
Just some Sunday afternoon thoughts...
I feel much better, now that I've got all that off my chest.
Here's another song by Francesca I like. Kind of describes the first part of today...
I know we're more than a few years late, but Sam and I started Harry Potter! I'm excited; it's really good so far. We went to the library yesterday to borrow a copy, only to find out that there are tons of copies that said were available but were somehow lost. From there we went to a used bookstore downtown and bought the first volume for 1/2 price! I think we'll go there again!
Anyway, we're about 100 pages or so into it, and I think the rest will fly by.
Sam and I have been pretty busy lately, taking care of our little family of four :) Baby boy is with me almost constantly, as he is a voracious eater, and poor Sam, is not quite capable of nursing him ;) I've really started to enjoy breastfeeding again. There's a bond there that just can't be replaced. I'm so grateful this round of nursing has been much easier on me than it was with Ella. Maybe it's because I know what I'm doing now?
Well, short post today. Gotta start on lunch for my nieces and Sam and me. We've got the girls while Sam's sister Stacey and her husband are in Dallas. I've got some cute crafts planned for us. It's cute, they're so excited!
My pretty girl at the park with daddy
My gorgeous little man ready for his first trip out of the house. Going to visit Grandma and Grandpa!
We had our beautiful little boy, Samuel Lynn III this past Monday, August 1, 2011 at 1016 am. He surprised us all, making is grand entrance to this world at a whopping 8 lbs 13 oz and 20.5 inches long. I was rather amazed myself. Sam and I thought he was going to weigh around 7.5 lbs, since his sister was 7 lbs 1 oz. Noooo, he was much bigger.
It's interesting though, because this labor was much easier on me. Total labor time with Ella was 18 hrs, but little man arrived in 11. I got an epidural with both, although I'd seriously thought about trying all natural labors. After much prayer and deliberation, I decided to look at epidurals as a gift to women, something I should say "Thank you" to God for, and not so much something I should feel guilty about using. I can honestly say that I am very glad I made the decision to get one after all. And Sam is very supportive- he was by my side with whatever I felt I should do. I love him so much.
Sunday night, we had Sam's family over for dinner and a movie. After they left, we finally got into bed around 11. Right before dozing off to sleep, the contractions came at 1115. I knew right away it was the real deal. They felt exactly like the contractions I had when I was induced with Ella. They hurt very low in my abdomen like a severe cramping. Sam and I timed my contractions until they were 3-6 minutes apart and then called my OB. He told me to go ahead and make our way to the hospital. Thankfully, we had everything ready, so we dropped Ella baby off at my parents' house and made it to the hospital around 3 am.
I was 4-5 cm dilated on arrival, so my nurse was in a hurry to get everything done. I got my epidural by 5 am and with that, was finally able to get some rest. I slept until almost 8 and had little man around 10 that morning. It was a great labor and delivery with no complications and manageable pain.
Sam was the most amazing coach and husband throughout it all. He never left my side and talked me through the pain. I love, love, love this man. He's so encouraging, even when he's not sure what to say. It was the best thing, just to know that he was right there with me.
My sweet Momma was there through it all too. She met us at the hospital right after we dropped off Ella. She was my prayer warrior during my delivery, just as she always is. I love my mother so much. Her faith inspires me and the woman she is pushes me to be a better one myself.
Anyhow, I'm off to bed. I started this post before dinner and am just finishing it after a night well spent with Sam's family. I'm exhausted, though very much content. I just want to lay down now and do nothing but sleep.
So, I conclude this post on one last not-too-tired note. I think I'll be posting more often in the future and with lots of pictures! I say that as I write this post on my baby gift from Sam. I'm spoiled, I think. He gave me an iMac 27" all-in-one desktop as my baby gift! I super duper like it :) It's most definitely an upgrade from the Sony Vaio we've been using as our primary computer, the one Sam purchased new in 2005. Yes, we were most definitely due for something new. And the got the top of the line :)
Well, I'm off to bed as I mentioned in the paragraph prior to the previous. I'll leave you with some recent pics of the family. Goodnight blogworld. Hope everyone has a great night.
My beautiful daughter at 16 months
Hubby and me taken a few days before delivery
We're goofy :)
I just like this one because it's a little different.
Gotta love that Ella's eating a pinecone in this one. Silly Ella.