Thursday, October 13, 2011

When?

So I've been a proud and ever-busy momma of two little ones for a tad bit over two months now. And I've had one question in mind a lot lately... when?

When-

...do I do chores? (should I instead play with my little loves?)
... do I play with Ella and Little Man? (or do I clean?)
... do I blog?
... can I craft?
... will I ever start to work out again? (I seriously feel like there is no time for this!)
... will I find a babysitter/childcare that will work out for us?
... can I find a quiet time to pray and read my Bible and earnestly listen for God's voice?
... will Sam and I resume our date night?
... should I get ready for the day?

I know this last one sounds like a stupid question. You're thinking, "Um, in the morning?" Buuut, I don't like Ella to wait for breakfast because she gets grumpy and Little Man, well he just won't wait. And it takes me an hour to get ready from start to finish if I hustle. But by the time he's nursed and happy and I've made breakfast and Ella is fed (it can be a struggle, let me tell you), I feel like I need a break, and by the time I'm ready to get ready (ha, ha) it's 10 o'clock. :sigh: And while it may seems that 10 isn't too late, by then I'm thinking, "Well should I get all readied up just to start on the morning chores?" I try to get a few chores done before we go eat lunch with Sam at work as we do everyday. And, yes, I could get up earlier than the babies wake up. Samy wakes up to nurse around 4 or 5am, so I could just stay up then, but that's just so early! I usually go back to sleep then, but don't wake up until Ella wakes up around 8 o'clock. And its very, very hard to go to sleep for only 1 or 2 more hours :( So, alas, when should I get ready for the day?

So, it seems as though I need to get a little better with the new demands of my time and figure out just when I will do all these things that need to be done or that I want to do!! Whew. I feel like I need to take a breath after typing all of that!

The thing about it is, I get pretty much everything done each day, so I guess I just need to feel comfortable in doing what I'm doing at any given moment in the day,. Today, for example, I was getting the chores done for today to mentally cross them off of the chore chart, when I couldn't help but feeling like I should stop cleaning and play with Ella. I play with her in between chores and sometimes she likes to "help" me clean by pushing the vacuum with me or "folding" clothes while I do laundry, but I can't help but feel like she deserves my undivided attention all of the time. I know that that, in itself, is not good because I've seen little kids who always were the center of attention and turned out to be spoiled brats. She's already good at individual play, and I'm proud of that.

I guess its just the mom in me that wants to make sure I'm doing the best for her. (This same feeling applies to Samy too, but I don't have to worry too much about entertaining him, since he is mostly still eating and sleeping all the time.)

So, back to my original question... when? When do I get done all that's on my list for the day and still spend meaningful time with my babies and husband? Because after all, that (along with my prayer life) is most important to me.

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