Prayers, please.

Well, Sam has his interview for PA school tomorrow!! He has worked so hard to get to this point, and I know he will make an amazing physician assistant. We've been praying so much that whether he gets accepted or not, God's will be done and we receive His grace to trust in it. Please pray for us and for Sam specifically, that he does his best and that he feel confident in his interviews.

God has been working in our lives so much lately, and I give all glory and honor to Him.

I'd like to say that I'm very proud of Sam and myself, but I know that would be giving undue credit. The reason for this feeling is that we've been sticking to the financial principles taught by Dave Ramsey, and we're so close to completing the step we're on now. It feels fantastic to look back on the progress we've made this year in eliminating debt. When we got our W-4's in January this year, we looked back on 2010, and thought, "What do we have to show for this income? What did we do with it all?" We made more than we needed to live on, yet hadn't done much about our debt. It was then that we really decided to get on the Dave Ramsey bandwagon and start eliminating debt. We've made great progress to date, but still have a way to go.

We're working toward getting rid of the last of it by the time Sam starts (God-willing) PA school in May of next year. If we do that, I'll be able to keep working 2-3 days a week and pay for his school in cash payments as we go. This would be ideal, as working during PA school is highly discouraged, and mine would be our only income. While seeing the debt snowball really work in our finances is exciting and exhilarating (silly, I know, but I really feel that way), I still have to often tell myself Dave's mantra, which has become our own, "If you live like no one else today, you can LIVE like no one else tomorrow."

Now while I am proud of us, it's not for the fact that we've started to overcome our debt, because for that success I give credit to God. What I am happy about is that all of this has happened because we finally started listening to God and not to ourselves. We're allowing Him to work in our hearts and in our lives. We're getting pretty good at relying on the Lord as our strength to delay gratification of the things we want and keep our goal in sight.

This goal is financial independence for two reasons: yes, we definitely want to not worry about money and not have to work, but more than that, so that we can abundantly bless people. I want to be able to pay for a cart full of groceries for a mom who looks like she's struggling. We want to start a marriage and natural family planning ministry program. I want to give thousands of dollars to the Catholic Answers apostolate every year to help in it's wonderful evangelization efforts. I want to assure that our parents retire without worry. I want to start a small scholarship fund for my younger cousins to help them get through college. I want to multiply the talents God has given Sam and me, so that we can pay it forward to other people.

Please keep us in your prayers as Sam has the most important interview of his life tomorrow and as we continue to work with diligence on completing our Total Money Makeover. Blessings to you all.

When?

So I've been a proud and ever-busy momma of two little ones for a tad bit over two months now. And I've had one question in mind a lot lately... when?

When-

...do I do chores? (should I instead play with my little loves?)

... do I play with Ella and Little Man? (or do I clean?)

... do I blog?

... can I craft?

... will I ever start to work out again? (I seriously feel like there is no time for this!)

... will I find a babysitter/childcare that will work out for us?

... can I find a quiet time to pray and read my Bible and earnestly listen for God's voice?

... will Sam and I resume our date night?

... should I get ready for the day?

I know this last one sounds like a stupid question. You're thinking, "Um, in the morning?" Buuut, I don't like Ella to wait for breakfast because she gets grumpy and Little Man, well he just won't wait. And it takes me an hour to get ready from start to finish if I hustle. But by the time he's nursed and happy and I've made breakfast and Ella is fed (it can be a struggle, let me tell you), I feel like I need a break, and by the time I'm ready to get ready (ha, ha) it's 10 o'clock. :sigh: And while it may seems that 10 isn't too late, by then I'm thinking, "Well should I get all readied up just to start on the morning chores?" I try to get a few chores done before we go eat lunch with Sam at work as we do everyday. And, yes, I could get up earlier than the babies wake up. Samy wakes up to nurse around 4 or 5am, so I could just stay up then, but that's just so early! I usually go back to sleep then, but don't wake up until Ella wakes up around 8 o'clock. And its very, very hard to go to sleep for only 1 or 2 more hours :( So, alas, when should I get ready for the day?

So, it seems as though I need to get a little better with the new demands of my time and figure out just when I will do all these things that need to be done or that I want to do!! Whew. I feel like I need to take a breath after typing all of that!

The thing about it is, I get pretty much everything done each day, so I guess I just need to feel comfortable in doing what I'm doing at any given moment in the day,. Today, for example, I was getting the chores done for today to mentally cross them off of the chore chart, when I couldn't help but feeling like I should stop cleaning and play with Ella. I play with her in between chores and sometimes she likes to "help" me clean by pushing the vacuum with me or "folding" clothes while I do laundry, but I can't help but feel like she deserves my undivided attention all of the time. I know that that, in itself, is not good because I've seen little kids who always were the center of attention and turned out to be spoiled brats. She's already good at individual play, and I'm proud of that.

I guess its just the mom in me that wants to make sure I'm doing the best for her. (This same feeling applies to Samy too, but I don't have to worry too much about entertaining him, since he is mostly still eating and sleeping all the time.)

So, back to my original question... when? When do I get done all that's on my list for the day and still spend meaningful time with my babies and husband? Because after all, that (along with my prayer life) is most important to me.

The Blues

Today wasn't a very good day.

I'm still thankful for all the blessings I received.

But overall, the day leaves me feeling exhausted, unaccomplished, stressed out and resentful.

Lord, please take away the feeling of frustration I had today with those I love, and let me instead feel your peace.

Let me realize how blessed I am in all aspects of my life, and I have little, if anything, to complain about. I want to lessen me and focus on you.

Help me, God. Help me to be more like you.

Amen.

Little Man!

So I've been meaning to post these pics a while ago but never finished. I started this post several weeks ago and then got distracted. I've added a few more pics to make up for my serious lack of

posting lately. Baby Samy has grown so much lately! It's amazing to see him get bigger each day. There have been days when I can literally tell he's grown overnight! Sounds crazy, but its true.

Here are a few pics of my handsome little man.

Hangin' out outside soaking up some rays.

Laying down with mommy.

Ready for a little outing. Check out his tummy! :)

I just love overalls on a baby!

And I can't leave Ella baby out. Here are a few pics of her, the top two are from today.

Yeah, look at those hands! She was having fun playing in the mud :)

Taking a break a the park. I love her little rosy cheeks. She definitely gets that from her daddy <3

My love and me!!

I just can't get over how handsome my wonderful husband is. I am so in love.

Another Mother's Wisdom

I thoroughly enjoyed this post over at Mama's Little Ditty about homeschooling. It's practicality is not limited to homeschool only, because it spoke volumes to me about everyday life of motherhood.

The article makes me nervous about our homeschooling future, but at the same time, it makes me excited to know that it is manageable and what Sam and I feel is best for our family. I'm can sometimes be the A Type personality, so having to realize that I will not always have it under control is something that I have to come to terms with.

Sam can tell you that I like to always have a plan. I'm the kind of person that likes to be time efficient; I owe this to my double dose of being both a mom and nurse. I like to have goals. Just today, I made a chore chart taken from here, just to post it to my fridge to see what I have to do and when. The sight of clutter can often bring about the feeling of distress. I like to have an end in sight when starting a project. I am super organized.

:sigh: While all this is fine and dandy, and this on-top-of-things part of me has been most useful and even, at times, saved the day, I must be okay with not having everything just right all the time.

I just have to realize that it's all going to be just fine, whether there are a few dishes in the sink or the floor is a little overdue for a good mopping. God loves my family and me just the same.

A Little About Today

Today was a lovely day. Sam and I spent time with our little babies, as we've been doing everyday. It's a lovely kind of lovely to not have work to go to or have anywhere pressing you need to be. To be able to take a nap anytime you feel like it. To play outside a couple of times a day and just soak up the sun.

Here are little pieces of today.

I realize there are no pics of baby boy. I'll make tomorrow's post his :)

Sunday Afternoon Thoughts

I'm currently listening to "Free to Be Me" by Francesa Battistelli. She's a young Christian singer who has some pretty cool songs.

Just got home from church and cleaned the house a little with Sam. Ella and Samy Baby are sleeping. Gotta take advantage of their nap times whenever I can.

So as I sit in front of my compute and listen to uplifting Christian music, I reflect on my morning. I was very frustrated with myself earlier.

Sam and I usually go to Mass at our home church at 11 am. We love the priest there; Fr. Santiago is so reverent and gives amazing homilies packed with Scripture and a good joke or two. The only problem is that there is no nursery there and there isn't even a cry room. Combine the lack of child-friendly areas with the fact that Ella's nap time is around 12, while we're still in church, and you get a fussy toddler who does not want to sit still, regardless of snacks or quiet distractions such as books, etc. I say this not implying at all that our priest is perturbed by little kids in church; he's actually very family oriented and encourages us to bring her, despite her interruptions to his homilies. Ella is a wonderful little girl. She is well mannered (she already signs please and thank you), very sweet (always giving kisses and hugs), and well tempered. However, she is a toddler, and when she is tired the crankiness comes spilling out.

Well because of this, Sam and I have decided to have someone babysit her while we are at church if we go to this church, or go to another Catholic church at 11:30 where a nursery is provided and there is a cry room. The plan was for the latter this morning. We both woke up around 8:30, with plenty of time to get ready. Somehow though, no matter what time we wake up or start getting ready for church, we are always late. Not late by much, never more than 10 minutes, but late nevertheless. And I know I've written before about how much it peeves me to be late for anything, it absolutely drives me crazy to be late for church! I just can't stand rushing to get everyone loaded in the car, speeding to church, walking in late, missing part of the Mass, and then after finally sitting down, having to unruffle my feathers to open myself up to the Scripture readings. And let me add, that it usually takes a long time to do this. Being frustrated with myself in church certainly does not make me feel like I'm in a state of Grace to receive Holy Communion either. :sigh:

Well, all of that happened this morning :( Put all of that last paragraph together with the fact that I started getting the babies ready way early, ironed Sam's clothes and my dress while he did his workout for the day, and when I finally had to start getting myself ready, I asked Sam what time it was... it was 11:10- the time we should be out the door to have enough time to take Ella to the nursery. So the dress I'd gotten ready didn't work out as planned and I had to make a last minute outfit change. I ended up going to church looking horrible- didn't wear anything pretty, my hair was a frizzy mess and I didn't even bother to put make up on on the way there because I cried the whole way because I was so frustrated with everything. Uggh. Not a good way to got to church.

Or maybe it is. While in Mass, I didn't sing like I always do or say almost any of the participatory responses because I felt like if I said anything or let my emotions open up anymore, I'd be a free flowing river of tears. Instead, I spoke to my God from within and felt Him calm me down, telling me not to worry about such small things. I'm not a woman to compare myself to others, ever, but standing behind the glass of the cry room (we didn't have time to take Ella to the nursery), I couldn't help see my mess-of-a-self reflection next to the two beautiful women standing in the row in front of us, both wearing super cute outfits with perfect makeup and perfect hair. :sigh: I wanted to cry more.

But instead, I felt my God tell me that it's not about what I'm wearing or how my crazy hair is. What matters is that my family showed up to spend time with Him. Worship Him. Give glory to Him. And I even felt Him tell my troubled and beyond frustrated and sad heart that it mattered more to Him that I tried to look nice for Him (I was going to wear a pretty dress and curl my hair, but alas, had no time to get me ready). That regardless of how sad looking, and by that I mean pathetic looking, I showed up to church, He knew that I desired to look pretty for Him.

I know that this all may sound dorky and trivial, but it's not to me.

I honestly believe that Christ becomes present in the Eucharist. And how little is to spend one hour a week with Jesus in worship? :sigh: Not much. So it's important to me to at least show up on time and make an earnest effort to wear my "Sunday best". If I can be on time everywhere else and dress up for a job interview or date with my husband, then what reason do I have or lack of desire, for that matter, to dress up for a date with God?

Just some Sunday afternoon thoughts...

I feel much better, now that I've got all that off my chest.

Here's another song by Francesca I like. Kind of describes the first part of today...