Oh, the irony!

Last night was Ella's first time to sleep through the night. But I woke up at least 5 times because I kept dreaming I was late for work. Go figure.

Good music

I like that music affects me. I guess I've always been that way. Right now I'm listening to some good Carbon Leaf. I think Pandora is such a great idea. It's cool how they find new music for you in whatever genre you're into. Nifty.
I decided not to go back to sleep after Ella got up to eat at 4. I'm gonna stay up til Sam gets home so that I'll be able to go to sleep when he does. I don't like that we're on different sleep schedules :(
I just finished reading Who You Are When No One"s Looking. Good book. I like that the author really incorporates scripture, even to business principles. It's my kind of book, because I've always been really about integrity. I know I have a long way to go, but integrity is the number one character trait I try to work on. I have so much respect for people who show integrity- I guess because they are who they are even when no ones looking. They don't change. They're real and that's pretty cool.
I'm excited. A group of friends are supposed to be starting a softball team next month. I miss playing so much. I miss playing catch, just throwing the ball around. I miss fielding, catching grounders, the smell of caliche in the summer.
I know this is way random, but I was talking to Sam about recently. I don't ever want to become stagnant. I don't want to stop learning, stop pushing myself. I want to keep building my character and my intellect. I want to keep learning about all kinds of things. Study whatever interests me and push myself to learn about things I haven't ever really been interested in- like physics :( It's kind of funny because I've always thought people who read "self-help" books are weird, but how else can I expect mind to be opened to new ways of thinking if I don't allow them in?
So I just decided that I really like Carbon Leaf and I just found a new band similar to them- Sister Hazel- on Pandora. Really cool :) I love good music.
I can hear Ella sighing in her sleep on the baby monitor... my sweet girl :) I absolutely love being a mom.
I guess I should conclude this post. I need to get some stuff done. Have a great day everyone!

Late night thoughts

Do you ever feel like you are disconnected from everyone, like no one can relate, like there's no one to talk to? That's pretty much how I feel right now. I'm tired. Ella was fussy all day, poor baby had a diaper rash and was hurting. She wore me out, trying to keep her entertained and comfortable. I'm glad I went over to my parents. My mom always lets me rest. Its like going on a little retreat for a few hours. Yes, a much needed retreat where I leave feeling a bit rejuvenated. I should be trying to go to sleep right now, but I guess I'm just thinking too much for that. Today was a bit of an awkward and lonely day. Sam didn't sleep at all yesterday except maybe 2 hours, so when he got home this morning he crashed til mid-afternoon. It was pretty much just me and Ella Bell and like I said earlier, she wore me out. I think the nicest part of all day was sitting outside with her in the cool breeze. I sang to her and she cooed at the songs she liked :) She likes to look at trees. I hope she's an outdoorsy kinda girl. Can't wait to take her camping. I feel like talking to someone rather than writing this entry, but it's late and there's no one I want to bother or wake up. I feel lonely and a little sad. I guess because Ella's asleep and the house is so quiet. Since there's not much else to do, I guess I'll go lay in bed and see if sleep becomes me.
Sorry for the depressing post. Maybe I'll be more upbeat tomorrow. Goodnight all.

I feel like

today is Mother's Day :) I'm getting spoiled <3

Feeling accomplished

So I'm home with Ella, away from my love :( Samy went to our business meeting tonight, and since there's no one to watch Ella, we're having a mommy-daughter night... I just wish Sam could be here too. She's been so good though- she's been sleeping for the past couple of hours, letting me get some stuff done around the house.
Dishes are done.
Laundry is done... and put up. (That's the what I'm worst at. I do laundry, but then it just sits in the basket for a week.)
The trash was thrown out.
All the random stuff that was laying around the house is back where it belongs.
Everything is ready for tomorrow's trip to Snyder to visit Grandpa.
I'm so happy Ella girl is being good so that I could get stuff done before bed. I just hope she sleeps through the night like she has been. I love my baby girl :)
I can't wait until our business replaces my income so that I can stay home with her. I'm so proud of my sweet Sam. He's been very motivated and growing our business so that we can both stay home and spend time together. I can't stand that our schedules are so different. I feel like we're always going in different directions, sleeping at different times of the day/night. I want for us to be together so much more than we are now. Thank you, my love, for being such a leader and taking the initiative to make our dreams happen. I believe that in the very near future we will be where we want to be. I love you Samuel.
I think I should start posting more often. I love to write and feel good when I take the time to think about my day and just to think about what I'm thinking about I guess. Anyway, I better go- my parents are stopping by in a minute to see the little one :)

To contentedness

Today was a nice day. Sam and Ella and I all stayed home and just hung out. Our little family :) Yesterday was her first day out of the house. We went to see the lactation consultant at the hospital for a follow up and to check her bilirubin level since she was a tad bit jaundiced at delivery. Everything is much better now. Since yesterday, I've felt so encouraged. Sam and I were getting a little stressed when it came to breastfeeding because it is really really hard. They say the first two weeks are the most difficult and now I can definitely see why. It is most definitely worth it, though, to know that its for Ella's benefit. The meeting yesterday with the consultant helped us out a LOT. She was very encouraging and gave us great advice.

It made me feel really good that Sam and I came up with a solution that works great for us. Its less stressful on him and me, and I think Ella too. It feels really good to be able to talk through things with him and make important decisions together. I'm so grateful to have a strong marriage.

Last night I got 7 hours of sleep... oh yes :) Sam got up with her a couple of times, but for the most part she slept all night. I slept from 1130 to 5, was up from 5 to 7, and then slept until about 930 this morning. It was so nice and I feel way better as far as exhaustion goes.

Tomorrow I think we'll go for another walk at the park. I super duper love our stroller! Its a jogging stroller and is really smooth. I can't wait til I can run again and start working out. But I suppose its best to recover first.

Anyway, I suppose I should go pump. (The whole idea of a machine to pump breasts is kind of weird, isn't it?) Hope tonight is as good a night as last night :)

Ella Baby

I am a mommy! And my wonderful amazing husband is a new daddy :) Beautiful Ella Grace was born Tuesday afternoon about 5 hours after her cousin Levi. She is so gorgeous. I can't believe she's really here. We've been waiting for her for 9 months, getting her room ready, picking out little clothes, talking to my tummy. I'm so thrilled, Sam and I both are.

Our first day home was yesterday, and our first night was a little on the rough side. Poor baby had really bad gas pains. She was crying all night. My sweet Sam is such a great husband. We took turns taking care of Ella in between feedings. I think we each got about 3-4 hours of sleep. I am so appreciative of everything he does to care for me. He knows when I get frustrated and feel like I can't handle something. He's my love, my right hand, my better half, my best friend. I am so in love with you Samy.

At one point last night, I had just nursed Ella and I was so tired and exhausted, physically and mentally. After I burped her I rocked her to sleep and thought I could lay her down... only for her to cry inconsolably. I was just enough to make me feel ten times more tired. And then, like he knew before I did how I was feeling, Sam got up right as she started to cry and took over... for the next 4 hours. I got 4 hours of continuous sleep because he rocked her and walked around the house with her for that long. (I just started to cry thinking about it.) He is so sweet to me.

:Ah, deep breath: So... pictures! I'll post a few that I have now and upload the rest later. She's gorgeous!


Sleeping with mommy :)

Car ride home from the hospital

Sup?