Busy, busy bee

I'm ready. Ready to be as busy as I have to be to get through the next two months.

Worked 8 last night... no big, and YAY! Now I'll have a paycheck! Haha. I've got clinical tonight, Sat night, and Sun night -missing another softball game :( I'm glad I worked yesterday, but an 8 followed by 3 12hr shifts? Yikes. I'm gonna be some kinda tired Monday morning. I'll get home from work around 8 and sleep til 5 :)

I'm ready to be done with the chaos of trying to coordinate crazy clinical times with studying for exams, class, work, and sleep! My goodness!

So, I started looking for apartments :) It turns out, getting into an apartment won't be as expensive as I thought. I guess I'll move in about June or so. Wow, I feel not so much like a kid anymore. I'm really excited about finally having my own place. On my days off, I can just enjoy whatever, instead of feeling like I should occupy every minute of my day with studying or working on assignments. I can visit home whenever, see my parents, Andi, and Sam as often as I want!! And then, on the weekends, maybe Andi and I can visit Bink. I can't begin to explain how happy and ready for all of this I am.

The only part I'm not so ready for are all of the expenses that come with starting off on my own. The deposit and fees for the apartment, down payment for a new car, etc. Heck, I still have to save up $ for graduation inviations, the next $200 payment in the application to take NCLEX, and other random expenses. Haha, I guess I'm always thinking further down the road.

The next two months are going to be fast and furious, but all I can say is bring it.

Woooo!

I got my first job offer yesterday!! I am SO EXCITED! God willing, I'll be an RN (real nurse, haha) in June :]

I interviewed for a position yesterday, and got a job offer on the spot. The amazing thing is that for a new grad, night positions are somewhat of a given, especially in specialty areas such as ICU, Labor and Delivery, etc. I applied for a position in an ICU, DAYS!!! And she wanted to hire me yesterday!

I am... needless to say... very excited ;)

:sigh:

I am thoroughly thoroughly exhausted. And clinicals have yet to begin.

:sigh:

<3

Happy love day! I get to see my love this evening.... WOOO! I hope all of you are having a wonderful day. God bless.

Memories

I think about days past, times missed.

I remember high school... how we'd leave bio and hang out before leaving, all the while, asking "What if..." questions. I miss being so dedicated to school that we'd get there before daylight almost every day. I miss softball practice, running around the bases, playing catch every day, fielding, Coach Patty and Coach James, the bus rides home from games.

I miss being at home and waking up to the smell of my momma's cooking. I miss hearing my dad sing while he dusts the dining room table. I miss Andi and her room that reminds me so much of my grandma. I miss India and Willie and Nelson, my gorgeous dogs.

I miss not worrying about bills or work or clinical. Or tuition. I miss the earnestness with which I believed that friends would always be friends, especially after dating. I miss my super great GPA that reflected how hard I work. I miss the familiarity of faces.

I miss the excitement of not knowing what I was gonna do with my life.

I miss waiting in the drive through at Jumburrito for the restaurant to open.

Sometimes I just miss days that I've lost and times I will never see again.

Your heart

Have you ever examined your heart? I mean truly taken the time to be quiet and listen? Do you know what means most to you?

Do you have secrets you know you'll never tell a soul?

Have you ever written down your story? Are you ever afraid of what other people cannot see? Do people know you... the real you?

Are you happy?

Have you ever felt beyond repair? Have you ever scared yourself? Do you think with your heart or your mind?

Do you let people in?

Are you the same person alone as when you're with other people? Is there a person you trust absolutely? Why?

Do you ever just feel like crying? Do you trust yourself? Do you trust others? Are you where you want to be?

If not, why not go there?

February

It is February! I don't know what that excites me, but it does. I need to start applying for jobs! AHHHhhhh!

I'm so proud of myself. I took 2 exams today and 2 quizzes, and I didn't even have to tak the exams. I feel so productive because they aren't due until mid-March. Yay, I'm done :) It feels good. Now I need to start on some other assignments so that I'm not staying up until 2 in the morning trying to finish.

My sister and I are going home this weekend... Super Bowl, Andi, Mom&Dad, laundry, Samy!!! I'm ready.