Memories

I think about days past, times missed.

I remember high school... how we'd leave bio and hang out before leaving, all the while, asking "What if..." questions. I miss being so dedicated to school that we'd get there before daylight almost every day. I miss softball practice, running around the bases, playing catch every day, fielding, Coach Patty and Coach James, the bus rides home from games.

I miss being at home and waking up to the smell of my momma's cooking. I miss hearing my dad sing while he dusts the dining room table. I miss Andi and her room that reminds me so much of my grandma. I miss India and Willie and Nelson, my gorgeous dogs.

I miss not worrying about bills or work or clinical. Or tuition. I miss the earnestness with which I believed that friends would always be friends, especially after dating. I miss my super great GPA that reflected how hard I work. I miss the familiarity of faces.

I miss the excitement of not knowing what I was gonna do with my life.

I miss waiting in the drive through at Jumburrito for the restaurant to open.

Sometimes I just miss days that I've lost and times I will never see again.

Your heart

Have you ever examined your heart? I mean truly taken the time to be quiet and listen? Do you know what means most to you?

Do you have secrets you know you'll never tell a soul?

Have you ever written down your story? Are you ever afraid of what other people cannot see? Do people know you... the real you?

Are you happy?

Have you ever felt beyond repair? Have you ever scared yourself? Do you think with your heart or your mind?

Do you let people in?

Are you the same person alone as when you're with other people? Is there a person you trust absolutely? Why?

Do you ever just feel like crying? Do you trust yourself? Do you trust others? Are you where you want to be?

If not, why not go there?

February

It is February! I don't know what that excites me, but it does. I need to start applying for jobs! AHHHhhhh!

I'm so proud of myself. I took 2 exams today and 2 quizzes, and I didn't even have to tak the exams. I feel so productive because they aren't due until mid-March. Yay, I'm done :) It feels good. Now I need to start on some other assignments so that I'm not staying up until 2 in the morning trying to finish.

My sister and I are going home this weekend... Super Bowl, Andi, Mom&Dad, laundry, Samy!!! I'm ready.

My stance on religion

Lately, I've been wanting to learn more and more about my Catholic faith. I am so proud to be a part of the universal church, that which is the church of Jesus Christ. I spent several hours online today, researching both standpoints (Protestant and Catholic) on various religious issues. I don't want to argue with anyone about anything. However, I DO want to grow to the point where I can take part in an intelligent conversation on religion and hold my own.

I got really frustrated earlier as I read a blog about whether two persons of different faiths/denominations can have a succesesful marriage. What upset me most was that people started to say things about the church that are completely untrue! It made me want to comment back, asking for their references. :sigh:

I want to know why we, as brothers and sisters in Christ, tear each other apart, rather than build each other up. I understand that there are differences, but rather than focus on that, why can't we show each other Christ's love first and foremost?

That is what I want to do. I want to give as much effort to studying Christ's life and teachings and my faith in Him as I have/do to every school subject that I've ever taken interest in. But above all...I want to be Christ to others.

Friends

Isn't it weird how some of your friends just fall off the planet?

I think it interesting to think that there are many people you've met in your life, some friends, whom you'll never talk to or see again.

This saddens me a bit.

Peace of Mind

So, not that I'm counting down or anything, but I have twenty weeks from tomorrow to the day I graduate! I am terribly excited :-D

Sam and I have been discussing job opportunities and such... trying to figure out which hospital will be the best for me to work at without contract constraints. Oh the joy! I even catch myself in class figuring how many hours a week I'll work and what days I'll be able to have lunch with my parents. The only sad part about that is that as a new grad, I'll most likely get stuck on night rotation for a good year or so :( But I guess most traumas happen then, and it'll be good for me to experience day and night shifts.

This semester I'm taking an ER elective that actually doubles my clinical time... yea, tell me about it! I'll have 95 hours of clinical for Med-Surg III, 95 for ER, and about 24 hours for random other classes. Looks like I'll be very busy! Still, it will be a wonderful opportunity for me. I'm so excited.

And Sam... well, he's going to have his own business (and by that, I mean busy-ness)! He'll be working, going to class, shadowing doctors, studying for MCAT...

We're one happenin' couple! Haha, I'm a dork, I know.

I suppose I should be on my way, however. My planner is only half in order and my sister and I will be leaving to do a bit of shopping here in a minute or two... new running shoes!!!!

21st

I'm 21! Here are some pics from my birthday :)